Growin' Up "White"

I have a friend that grew up on a reservation in South Dakota. He is a mix of, I believe, half or one fourth Native American from the Oglala Lakota tribe. He, like myself, was raised by a single mom. And, of course, you can much of the time equate "single mom" with "dirt poor" as was the case with both of us.

I am 1/8 Cherokee on my father's side, mixed in with some Romanian, Irish Welsh, English, Italian, and so many others that the only thing that can really be traced back with a percentage is Cherokee. I don't know when the bloodline left the reservation (I know for sure it was at least two generations before me) or anything about my Cherokee heritage. My friend once told me "You're not Native American if you didn't grow up on a reservation." It kinda hurt when he said that, because I felt like he was saying he was somehow better than me because he had to "go through that situation" and that I couldn't connect myself to him or any other Native American because I had not (but, in fact, things like poverty followed my father's bloodline well past the reservation lines and our social situations were similar), but I honestly knew nothing of the Cherokee people. I wasn't adopted out like the child in this story, but I felt like I grew up without having a culture to hold on to and say "That's what I am!" Sure, I have some Irish, Romanian and Cherokee, but I grew up... "White." White is a color, not a culture. White people can't dance, jump high, and are all rich, right? Besides "Poor White Trash?" (I hate that term, btw.) I never met my grandparents on my father's side (or, actually anyone yet) and the only way I even know that I am part Cherokee is the fact that my mother was told it by an Aunt on my father's side after she had had the lineage traced back and her son had gotten a Native American scholarship for college.

Culture is not something you can get at a weekend camp. Sure, I could research my Cherokee and Irish and Romanian heritage, but I will still never get the same "culture" from a weekend camp that you could ever get from growing up on a reservation, or in an Irish American or Romanian American community. I don't say I want to grow up on a reservation at all, but while I read this story it kinda makes me realize that the ones fighting for the girl to be raised in their culture are not doing it for selfish reasons. They want what is best for the girl. If she is raised by a "white" family, she will probably end up connecting herself to that culture, however bland and empty it is.

But... that last paragraph was just me playing Devil's Advocate. He made me do it. He always does! Damn Devil... Always one step ahead of me! I really want the girl to be happy at home with her mommy. "Mommy" is the woman that changed your diapers, made sure you looked both ways before crossing the street, let you grip her fingers for safety when you were scared, and spit on a tissue to wipe whatever food was on your face no matter how much you cringed and pushed back. "Biological Mother" is a different thing entirely. Even if I found out today I was adopted, my mom would still be my mom and I think most of you would say the same.

I feel like I have posted something like this before, but I can't seem to find it... Oh well... I lost my train of thought... It was all over the place anywhoo. Ciao! See ya in class! Gotta read some more...